episode 55/ SEASON 3
This week the therapists dish and dive about grief. Not the grief we feel from the death of a person, but rather the death of a fantasy.
When we realize that our partner is not exactly what we want or cannot meet certain expectations or longings, we go through a similar process to the grief process. We feel angry, we bargain, we deny and ultimately if we can accept what is, then we can fully grieve what we don’t have. On the other side of grief is openness and a renewed sense of what is possible. The therapists learn that if they can get out of their own way, they actually have partners who can and do exceed their expectations and longings in many areas.
If you can start grieving the fantasy, then you can open yourself up to the real and wonderful person who is right in front of you.
Resources Mentioned in Podcasts
Chansky, T. (February 2013). The power of imperfection in your relationship.
Kubler-Ross, E. and Kessler, D. (2005). The five stages of grief.
Miller, D. (not stated). Lose control to find closeness in your relationships.
Parrott, L. and Parrott, L. (April 2016). How to stop controlling your spouse.
Philosiblog (August 2013). You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
Yosef, R. (April 2015). 20 things you must accept if you want your relationship to succeed.