episode 23 / How To Get On The Same Page
SEASON 2
Show Notes
This week the therapists dish about the frustration they feel toward their partners who are not as psychologically minded as they are. Iona struggles with Steve sometimes because he doesn’t have the same map that she has about how the most productive conversations unfold. He doesn’t always follow her rules of engagement and that makes her feel like she alone is the keeper of the process of the conversation. Sometimes, without realizing, he can throw a grenade into their conversations just when Iona feels they are getting really productive.
Pam struggles in the same way with Eric, but understands that this is both a skill and a gift that has been practiced and honed in us as therapists. Can we really expect that our partners, who are not trained therapists, should have a mutual understanding and see the big picture the same way that we do? Still, we don’t want to be “stewards of the conversation” without our partners help.
The therapists then dive into some basic ideas about what it means to be psychologically minded and psychologically mindful and finally create a wish list for their ‘golden rules of conversation’, hopefully sparking listeners to create their own wish lists with their partners to increase understanding, decrease conflict and create more intimacy and closeness!
Resources Mentioned in Podcasts
Rai, S. (March 2015). Psychological Mindedness: An overview. Indian Journal of Positive Psychology.
Retrieved in June from
https://www.questia.com/library/journal/1P3-3655877691/psychological-mindedness-an-overview
Velychko, A. (November 2015). My perspective on psychological mindedness.
Retrieved in June 2018 from
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-perspective-psychological-mindedness-ganna-anna-velychko
Farnum Street blog. (2014). The ten golden rules of argument.
Retrieved in June 2018 from
https://www.fs.blog/2014/10/the-ten-golden-rules-of-argument/
