EPISODE 07 / Expectations and Longings
SHOW NOTES
The therapists discuss unrealistic expectations in relationships and the importance of moving them into longings so as to minimize anger. Expectations can be toxic and deadly to relationships because they are often unspoken, sometimes untrue and can build and create big feelings and resentment.
Iona talks about her impossible expectations of Steve and how unattainable they really are. Do we expect our partner to act as if they are our mothers- meeting each and every one of our needs perfectly?? The therapists then dive into some great strategies for changing expectations into longings and some other goodies for navigating through these treacherous waters.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN PODCASTS
Gray, Jordan. (April 2015). Three toxic expectations that kill relationships.
Retrieved from
https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2015/04/3-toxic-expectations-that-kill-relationships/
Naylor, Lavelda. (October 9, 2012). Need to understand yourself? Try the personal iceberg.
Retrieved from
https://laveldanaylor.wordpress.com/2012/10/09/need-to-stop-doing-something-try-the-personal-iceberg/
Webber, Jill. (May 1, 2015). Five reasons why the fairy tale (almost) always dies. Huffington Post – The Blog.
Retrieved from
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-p-weber-phd-/5-reasons-why-the-fairy-tale-almost-always-dies_b_7176404.html
Monk, Iona. (2007). Attachment Needs and Longings List. Compiled during Emotionally Focused Therapy internship. VCFI. Vancouver. (PDF on website)
