episode 38/
THE HOT POTATO DILEMMA
Show Notes
This week the therapists dish and dive about defensiveness. If things are escalating quickly, it’s a sure sign that defensiveness is in da house!
Iona and Pam dish about accountability and how difficult it can be to own their pieces of the problem. But, they discover that ownership begets ownership and the more likely they are to own their stuff, the more likely their partners are to do the same.
Conversely, ownership can also feel like a hot potato, tossing blame back and forth between partners, no one wanting to hold it for very long. The therapists then dive into the literature and learn that the tossing of the hot potato can lead to major consequences- divorce being one of them.
Listen in as they learn more and more about accountability, blame and how to safely own your part of the issue so you can feel more like a team.
Resources Mentioned in Podcasts
Frederic, C. (May 2017). Defensiveness if offensive.
from
https://principleskills.com/defensiveness-is-offensive/
Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York, NY: Crown Publishers Inc. (note specifically pp 148 – 155).
Keelan, P. (November 2016). How to manage perpetual problems in your relationship.
from
https://drpatrickkeelan.com/relationships/how-to-manage-perpetual-problems-in-your-relationship/
Schreiner, M. (July 2013). Gestalt psychology: Unfinished business.
from
https://evolutioncounseling.com/unfinished-business/
Resources Mentioned in Podcasts
Mindell, A. (1992).
City Shadows. Arkana Books
