episode 60 / SEASON 3
Mar 27,2019
Repair
Show Notes
Synopsis
Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about how to fully repair after a tiff.
Pam has had an issue with Eric in the kitchen (where else??) and learns how to find her part, own it and take responsibility for it without taking it all on. Iona’s has an issue with Steve and also owns her piece and realizes what she needs from Steve; for him to cleanly own his part without being defensive.
Knowing what you need, owning your part and understanding your family of origin triggers all seem to play a role in healthy repair.
Learn how to repair tiffs with your loved one in a healthy and quicker way so you can still get out and enjoy your day!
Resources Mentioned in Podcasts
Gottman, J. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work.
New York, NY: Random House Inc. Pp 194-199.
Johnson, S. (March 2010). When couples argue is it possible to fight fair.
from
http://www.drsuejohnson.com/relationships/when-couples-argue-is-it-possible-to-fight-fair/#more-97
Love, P. & Stosny, S. (2007). How to improve your marriage without talking about it: Finding love beyond words.
New York, NY: Broadway Books.
DeKoven Fishbane, M. (2013). Loving with the brain in mind: Neurobiology and couple therapy.
New York, NY: W. W. Norton and Company, Inc.
Tatkin, S. (2011). Wired for love: How understanding your partner’s brain and attachment style can help you defuse conflict and build a safe relationship.
Oakland CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Thanks for this one in particular. We are working as a family to work through a number of things and feel like your podcast is helping with some great practical advice and perspective. We are getting quite good at working through some difficult issues, but the repair piece was a bit lacking. And I should say that our biggest challenge is not actually between myself and my husband but with one of our children. We never wanted them to feel like they could just say “sorry” and be done with whatever conflict was at hand, but I think we overdid it a little and were missing the “sorry” part – or as you so wisely expressed – the repair piece.