Episode 51 / Do We Have Each Others Backs

episode 51/ SEASON 3
Do We Have Each Others Backs

Show Notes

Synopsis

This week the therapists dish and dive on the dilemma they have being big complainers about their partners, yet still wanting to be supportive of them and wanting them to feel like they have their backs.

Knowing their partners emotional state is helpful to increase compassion and understanding when they are also triggered by their behaviours. Of course they know that its important to avoid the most damaging forms of criticism if they want to stay connected.

They dive into the literature on the “couple bubble” and harnessing the power of the brain for love instead of war. Learn how to keep the integrity of your relationship protected while staying true to your own feelings of disappointment and frustration with your partner’s shortcomings.

Make the relationship more important than your need to be right!

Resources Mentioned in Podcasts

Gunther, R. (February 2011). Is your relationship thriving or just surviving? Eight fun and effective ways to evaluate your intimate relationship
from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201102/is-your-relationship-thriving-or-just-surviving

Lisitsa, E. (April 2013). The four horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.
from
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

Paul, M. (March 2014). I’ve got your back.
from
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ive-got-your-back_b_4886561

Springer, S. (December 2012). How to have your partners back.
from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-joint-adventures-well-educated-couples/201212/how-have-your-partners-back

Tatkin, S. (2011). Wired for love: How understanding your partner’s brain and attachment style can help you defuse conflict and build a safe relationship. Oakland CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.